Riptide
by Vetti
Summary: Kaname learns that it's okay to fall in love again. [Kaname x Zero]
1. A Summer Departure

I'm annoying and I keep getting side tracked when I'm trying to finish one fic. I'm also very excitable that I want to post this immediately because I can't seem to finish it one go so I'm splitting it into two parts, as I wait for divine inspiration.

* * *

Summer. He lost his first love during a hot summer day. The sun, an enigmatic ever present existence, hovered over one face of the earth and spread warmth and light as she left without a word: her soul disappearing from the world and the once lively jubilant young woman leaving no traces of ever being that same source of warmth and light in Kaname's life.

Sometimes, he liked to think that she died that very day to become part of his sky- to become part of that sunlit scenery that could calm the terribly temperamental whose nerves are driven by the heat.

Yuuki was the warmth in his soul; and the life in his bones. But to a warm summer day, he lost that fire—that enigmatic life and undeniable light.

He never truly understood the beauty of summer. He never even understood why people loved being under the intense heat. Perhaps, with the presence of the bright eyed brunette, he had a small peek of the true wonder behind the celestial fireball held still amidst the blue skies. But now that she's faded from his life, the warm yellow has turned to a dull white. Now, the sun is only an eternal heat.

"You loved her,"

Kaname didn't respond to the comment and kept to himself, still curled up beside the silver-haired man. There was at least a meter in between them, but Kaname felt the concern.

Zero sighed, his hands firmly placed behind his back to steady himself while staring in the direction of the sunset. He turned to the unresponsive wine-haired man, "But you don't love her anymore, do you?"

Kaname turned to Zero at the statement, still not verbalizing his thoughts but clearly sending across the message of confusion. Zero purses his lips at the response and speaks, "You can't love her anymore because at this point, you can only be in love with the thought of her."

Zero straightens his back and avoids Kaname's gaze as he plays with the sand, "It's been seven years. Who she was back then couldn't be who she would've been today."

Zero raises his gaze to meet a vivid brown staring back at him. Kaname adds in to the conversation, "but,"

"You'd still love her for whoever she will be today?" Zero pitches in.

Zero suppresses a pitying smile as he stands up from his position, brushing off the sand that got caught up on his shorts, "I really don't know what to say. Maybe she loved you back, maybe you loved her more; but I don't like speculation especially from a past that's so far down."

Kaname keeps his gaze steady at the silverette's form as the latter eventually offers an apologetic smile and a reparation, "It was nice meeting you, Kuran. I just don't think I'm the right person for this conversation."

Kaname nods his head and bids his goodbye, while Zero walks away from the gloomy brunette. His figure gradually fading away with the transition of the luminous neon blue skies to a deep navy blanket of stars.

* * *

"How are you, Zero?"

"I'm doing good," Zero responded succinctly, lounging at the edge of the sofa, "I met someone new today."

"Oh, wow. Can you tell me about this new acquaintance?"

Zero almost smiles at the bizarre identity of the other man, "You know that famous romance novelist?"

Zero could already hear the excited gasp from the other line, "You met Kaname Kuran!?"

The silverette laughs at the excited tone of his mother, knowing that the other had her own history with the novelist's books before they got huge, "Yeah. Well, I think it's applicable for you to 'never meet your idols'."

"How was he?"

"I'm almost suspecting that he's mute, and that he has that Stephen Hawking device that makes one sentence every three minutes which explains the lack of responses."

"Oh, don't be silly, Zero. Maybe he just needs time warming up."

Zero hums, "Maybe. Anyway, I gotta go. Bye, mom."

The other line pauses before Zero's mom bids her goodbyes and the silverette puts down the phone and releases a breath that he didn't realize he has been holding. He scans the entirety of the cozy home, looking for something to occupy himself with but finds nothing of interest so he eventually walks into his room, defeated over the lack of activities to do.

Having nothing else to think about, Zero's thoughts divert to Kaname and his undeniably fierce protectiveness over a lost love. Romance was never Zero's strong suit but at a certain point, he understood the deep sense of affection, albeit arguably misplaced.

Zero walks into the bedroom and just crashes at the unmade bed. He lies down, closes his eyes, and breathes in deep.

Only two more months before he'd have to leave this _summer paradise._

Only two more months before his mother would finally think that he's okay.

* * *

Zero wakes up at the usual early morning and fixed himself a coffee before heading out to his work as a server in the local restaurant. Customers usually flocked to the place in the morning more than evenings, hence the higher need for manpower.

The silverette takes a quick shower, dresses himself in the standard uniform, and walks out the door with the sling bag hanging on the wall hook right beside the front windows of the small bungalow he was staying at.

It was routine every morning to be greeted by the relatively young landlord having coffee in her front porch. The houses in his area were small similarly built houses with the bare necessities. Seeing as the residence was just a walking distance away from the beach, it probably wasn't uncommon for new faces to easily come and go.

Zero smiles and greets back politely, before walking to his restaurant was a small and cozy place, staffed by five people, including himself. It took him at least ten minutes to make it to the place, and he would usually be the first one to make it there, save for the manager who lived just upstairs.

Today was different, however, as he saw that familiar mop of brown standing right in front of the closed restaurant. Zero smiled deviously and creeped up behind the brunette, "Staring at the door won't make it open."

Kaname jumped at the unanticipated voice, "You surprised me."

Zero huffed, "Yeah. I can see that. Are you gonna have breakfast here?"

"Well, I was," Kaname sighs, "but I didn't realize the opening time for today was thirty minutes later."

"Ah, well don't fret. I'm usually the one that opens the store. So, you can lounge here for a bit until everyone else arrives."

"You work here?"

"Yeah," Zero replies casually as he keys in the door and walks in, motioning the other man to follow him. There, he starts moving the chairs from the tops of the tables to a more appropriate setting for opening hours. Kaname immediately gets the drift and takes a seat on one of the tables.

Zero continues the task at hand; while Kaname sits at one table, drumming his fingers on the varnished table tops. Uncomfortable with the silence, Kaname starts a conversation, "So, when did you arrive here? Is this long-term or just a short vacation."

Zero doesn't cease his work but still responds to the question, "Last week. Three months, tops."

"So, vacation."

A momentary silence envelopes the two individuals, but Zero eventually breaks it, "How long have you lived here?"

"Three years,"

Zero hummed, "Thought you've been here forever with how much you know the place."

"I lived in the city before this. Skyscrapers and busy people. It's where the money is, they tell you all the time, but money's just a leverage to buy you a better quality of misery."

"That's very philosophical," Zero points out, "unluckily for you, my life is very simple and my inner demons have more things to preoccupy themselves with than salivating over wealth."

Zero almost laughs at himself, "look what you've done! Now, I'm using 'inner demons' in real life speech."

Kaname flashes a small smile at the silverette. Another lapse of silence falls upon their company, Zero decides to break it eventually, "Hey. I can make you a cup of coffee while we wait for the cook. He shouldn't take too long."

"Yes, please. That would be appreciated,"

Zero disappears into the kitchen for a swift minute before resurfacing and coming out with with a tray holding two cups of coffee, and sugar and creamer packets, "it's on the house"

Kaname nodded and mouthed a small, "Thank you."

"What made you move here?"

Kaname leaned back and crossed his arms, contemplating on how to answer the question, "I needed a breath of fresh air, but it took me so long to realize that after years of suffering through corporate."

"Corporate, huh?"

"I used to have the standard 9-5, until I got sick of it and realized I saved enough money to get away and live by the more peaceful parts of the world. Writing was an afterthought," Kaname returned the question, "What made you want to stay here for three months?"

"It's a long story for another time, but the island is just as charming as you make it seem."

Kaname coughs, "Hey, anyway, you came a The right month. There's a small party by the beach side tonight. I'll be there with some friends, you can come as well."

"That's", Zero paused to contemplate before answering, "very nice of you. I'll see if I can go."

"You're new to the town, it's your time to acquaint yourself with the people around you."

Zero looked thoughtful, "I'm not gonna stay in the area for too long though so, I'm not sure if I can make it."

Kaname nods and keeps silent. The silverette tries to make it up to the other man, "I'll try."

* * *

It was the typical beach party, people wore flowered polos and thin fabric that were more for show than cover. Some tropical tune was playing in the background as the crowd danced to the accompaniment. The scene wasn't that big, given that it was very early into the night. It was only 8:00 PM.

The darkness had already settled in, as the venue lit the torches around the area. Given the small crowd, Zero had already spotted Kaname from a distance. The wine-haired man was surrounded by two other men, an almost equally tall man with platinum blonde hair and a shorter brunette which seemed to share some features with Kaname.

Zero walked towards Kaname's direction, slow and steady steps towards the dark-haired man but he quickly lost the other when the latter left the table with his phone-likely answering a call. With this, Zero stopped midway and almost contemplated turning back until Kaname's light-haired companion seemed to have noticed him and had signaled him to sit with them.

"So, you're Kaname's new friend?"

"I think acquaintance is a better way to put it."

The light-haired man doesn't comment on the remark but wears an expression that challenges the validity of the statement. Nonetheless, the other man offers an hand and introduces himself, "I'm Takuma. It's very nice to meet you."

Zero returns the gesture and introduces himself, "Zero."

The blonde man points to his quiet companion and introduces the latter, "This is Shiki. He's not a very talkative person, but he's a nice guy."

"Oh, um, are you related to Kuran?"

The two appeared to be shocked at what he said. Zero furrowed his brows at the unexpected reaction, and Takuma quickly cleared the air, "Oh, sorry about that. It seems as if you guys aren't really as close as we thought; but to answer your question: yes, they're cousins."

"So how do you know Kuran?"

Takuma smiled, "He's a childhood friend of mine. We're all just part of the same social circle from high school."

Zero had to bite back the offhanded question of, "So you guys knew Yuuki?"

"Oh, and what do we have here: lover boy is late!" Takuma exclaimed, waving his hands at the approaching brunette who didn't seem to be pleased with the statement.

Kaname put a hand on Zero's shoulder and leaned forward to tell something directly to his ear, "Sorry, had to answer a call. You wanna walk around the area for a while? Nothing really happens until 10."

"That's pretty early, to be honest, but I'll take you up on the offer."

"Don't get lost, you two! And, always use protection!" Takuma shouted, and a random passerby shouted an affirmative "hell yeah!" in support.

Kaname shook his head and simply lead the silverette away from the group, his hand steadily guiding the other by his waist. This action wasn't ignored by Takuma, but he decided not to comment on the matter further as he only smiled at the departing figures of his friend and a new acquaintance.

Takuma feels a nudge on his arm and finds that it was Shiki who was calling for his attention. Uninterested half lidded eyes bore themselves to aquamarine hues when the former spoke, "do you think…?"

Takuma sighed and stared back at the direction where their two companions left, "I just hope so. Only time will tell."

* * *

"What you told me back then really got me thinking," Kaname started.

Zero tried, "What I told you when….?"

Kaname continued, "When we first met. About Yuuki. I haven't really thought about it like that. It's a new perspective."

Zero kept with the slow pace as he nodded and crossed his arms, "Well, it's because you're a romantic and I'm a realist. While the sun remains to be at the center of my solar system; it appears as if your version of it has _Yuuki_ at the center."

Kaname laughs off-handedly, and Zero is stunned for a split second but bats off the feeling once he has recovered, "So it turns out that perpetually stoic and forlorn Kaname Kuran does know how to experience emotion, who would have thought."

"Well, it was funny."

"He has humor too," Zero added.

"How do you,"

Zero completed the sentence, "live like this?"

"I actually had no concrete question, but I think that's the closest I could get to it."

"Like I told you, I'm a realist. Some people marry for love," Zero points to Kaname, "and some people marry for stability," he points to himself, "It's not that I don't want to be like you or see the world the way you do. It's just that I can't see the world for anything other than what it just is."

A silence spreads between them, but it wasn't unwelcome or awkward. In fact, it seems as the silence was just the perfect response to how the conversation ended. Nonetheless, it ends eventually as Kaname speaks, "I just realized that I don't know you as much as you know me at this point. So, why don't you tell me about Zero Kiryuu?"

Zero smiled ruefully at the question and replied, "That's another story for another time. I still have two more months in this island, anyway. That's at least 60 more opportunities, isn't it?"

Kaname frowns and unwittingly makes his pace slower. Zero turns back at the wine-haired man to see the down-turned expression, "Why the long face? We've been talking for almost an hour now; we should probably go back."

"I need you to promise me."

Zero almost laughs at the childish remark, but stops himself to not make the situation any work, "Okay, what should I promise you?"

"That you'll tell me about it before I leave."

Zero smiles and offers his pinky, deciding to divulge in the childish fantasy "Okay, I'm gonna _pinky promise_ you!"

Kaname looks visibly embarrassed at the gesture but returns it nonetheless.

"Okay, now that we're done with that, let's go back to the party! The crowd's building up," Zero offers a hand to Kaname and the other man takes it as the former runs as fast as he can back to the celebration. Kaname doesn't anticipate the sudden increase in speed. Nonetheless, he can't help but laugh at the almost childlike gleam of happiness in the silverette's eyes.

* * *

The following day, Zero wakes up with a hangover and the slightest memory of what he believed was a wonderful night. His hands immediately fell on his lips when he realized the kiss that concluded the night for him. Flushing at the memory, Zero immediately went off to start readying himself for another day at work. Like routine; he steps out of the house, greets the landlord, and walks swiftly to the restaurant. It wasn't like he was any later than usual but the brisk steps did distract him from the events from yesterday.

As Zero gets closer to the entrance of his workplace, he finds himself faced with an unwelcome but familiar sight of one wine-haired man standing in front of the country-style double doors of the small restaurant. Yet again, Zero feels that overwhelming urge to just turn and leave. He was, yet again, many minutes too early for opening. He was about to do just that when his co-worker who was also on his way to the restaurant notices him and calls his attention.

Zero turns to his co-worker and greets him unenthusiastically, "Good morning, Kain-san."

The usually stoic man's expression appeared to be less frigid, clearly sensing the tone from the greeting. Nevertheless, his tan co-worker returns the greeting and shrugs at the unreadable expression on the silverette's face before walking to the front doors.

Kain spots Kaname and regards him with more familiarity than Zero knew the two individuals had. Kaname gives the orange-haired man a pleasant smile, but directs his gaze at Zero afterwards.

Zero curses his bad luck and smiles at the wine-haired man. The latter appeared to be unconvinced at the courteous gesture but decided against calling it out. He walks inside the place, the area already halfway set up.

Zero follows Kaname and sighs. He couldn't escape it now.

* * *

I don't wanna make anymore promises but my original plan is for this to be a two shot (wow, I'm completing a fic again?). Thanks for reading and see you guys in the next update! :D


	2. November Winter

Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I really appreciate them, but I can't respond to them all for now because I'm working on my undergraduate thesis while balancing an internship and some college majors. Nonetheless, I'll still try to put out content when I can.

Also, this is now gonna be multi-chaptered because I'm indecisive like that!

* * *

Winter.

It was a quiet passing, under a dove grey sky on a November winter.

Hands clasped, waiting for the hope and renewal of spring. But hope and renewal never came, and grief was nothing but an attentive companion through the cold night. Bleak white spreads dueeper into the greens of the forests.

 _I love you, Zero._

The sea has given up her blue, and the flowers have been laid to rest as foggy weathers scatter the coast line.

The air tastes dull.

* * *

It takes three weeks before Kaname establishes his permanence in Zero's mornings. Sometimes, he brings a laptop or a notebook, most likely related to work. Other times, he comes there empty handed, eager for a conversation as he never lost an audience to his musings. The things you can get with a gorgeous face and an equally beautiful mind, Zero muses.

Gradually, Zero finds himself breaking free from his mindless routine of eat-sleep-work.. His idle time increased because of non-peak season. This gave the silverette just enough time to be observant of his surroundings.

Just a little after 10 or a few minutes before 11, the silverette would find a familiar mop of brown entering the restaurant—with a pleasant expression painted on his face and a willingness to please and be pleased. On most weekdays, he finds himself across the table from the famous novelist, the wine-haired man's speech as good as written word despite the silverette having no doubt that it was all spontaneous.

Fascination. That's what he called it.

Zero had no doubt that he'll forget the feeling once he rids himself from that place.

It was a Wednesday, and the clock had struck 12. Kaname often left during lunch time for reasons he never disclosed or no one bothered to ask about. Like clockwork, Kaname stands up from his seat and bids the occupants of the restaurant goodbye. Today was one of those days when the wine-haired man brought his laptop, clearly engrossed in his work when he typed away the recesses of his mind.

Zero was none the wiser as he offered a kind smile to the frequent customer when he left.

* * *

Thus another day goes as fast as it came, and Zero walks back to his home with the image of an undeniably beautiful sunset at his back. He doesn't take the time to admire the scenic view, a month had been enough to get him used to the beauty of the island. His memory shifts to an event that happened not too long ago, but had been buried at the deepest confines of his mind until now.

The kiss was a tactless action, as admitted by both Kaname and Zero. Hence, they decided to erase memories of the unexpected intimacy most likely brought by the alcohol and continue their relationship as friends. It was easier this way. Friends didn't get attached the same way lovers do and Zero only had five weeks, at most, left on this island. He admits that this was a great opportunity to break free from the city but he didn't belong here, not with Kaname and his friends or with his temporary co-workers that he really got along with.

Zero's life was far too complicated to add love into its equation. It was impossible to fall in love in such a short time. He couldn't wax poetry into his life the same way it was second nature to Kaname's mind, but he understood that love was a fleeting thing. It comes, it goes, but it never truly stays. Or perhaps, it never truly is the same way it was ever before.

* * *

"You're awfully early today," Zero comments when he sees a familiar wine-haired man walk in his workplace empty-handed.

Kaname wore a sheepish expression at the remark and replied, "I guess I woke up earlier than usual?"

Zero doesn't press on the matter any further, "the regular?"

Kaname nods in response and sends another smile to the silverette. His gaze follows the silverette walking around the place, and he almost frowns when something crosses his mind. It wasn't a particularly unpleasant memory, but it does bring up negative emotions.

Kaname definitely should have paid more attention, because he should have seen it coming. It didn't take him long to realize that what Zero said had some truth in it. He didn't want to admit it but it took him three weeks worth of sleepless nights and occasional alcohol binges before he finally had to admit to himself that a lot has definitely changed in the seven years he had to part with the love of his life. _Or the former love of his life,_ an unhelpful voice at the back of Kaname's mind supplied.

He really should have seen it coming. He should have seen the symptoms when he would start getting distracted by a small nuance from the silverette.

He should have seen it coming, when he started to pay more attention to the unraveling of Zero's person right in front of his eyes-when small and controlled chuckles turned into unfettered bouts of laughter as his eyes narrowed into small slits and his complexion flushed the slightest shade of pink.

It was when polite reactions turned

* * *

into unguarded spasms of emotion, and perhaps, the most striking of all was when Kaname unwittingly put those bright brown eyes at the back of his mind because his thoughts had been so preoccupied with the simple wonder with amethyst pools that pulled him in so deep without even trying.

It's not love, Kaname knows, but it's not simple affection.

Zero walks back to Kaname's table, a tray in hand with Kaname's usual brunch special. It was a simple meal, fit for the wine-haired man's uncomplicated lifestyle.

* * *

"I lost someone very dear to me as well," Zero muses loudly. It's three in the afternoon, and the only customer in the restaurant was Kaname.

The silverette seemed taken aback at his own voice, but masks it eventually and continues,"It's been years, not seven. Almost two?"

His voice is unsteady, but not weak.

And it's so strange to think that they're gone? Just like that?" Zero's voice takes an uncertain and shaky tone.

"It's," Zero stopped himself from divulging any further. Did the dark-haired man even care? What made him think that he wasn't just gonna be some character study for the enigmatic man's best-selling novels? What made him believe that there could be something more between them?

Zero clenched his fists and walked out of the restaurant without sparing a glance at the wine-haired man; who was left frozen and unbelievably confused.


End file.
